Recently I wrote an article about fat loss and mentioned a startling statistic that 95% of people who lose weight will put it back on within 5 years. This is a very intimidating truth and it is grounds to question why you would even try if the odds are so stacked against you. This is a fair question to ask and I would like to give my input about why it’s important to seek improvement independent of positive outcome. Because in the end is anything worth doing when a result is guaranteed?

In March 2019 I traveled to Florida on short notice to compete in my first ever race as a professional triathlete. At this point I had been training for and racing triathlons for the better part of a decade and had finally achieved my dream of toeing the start line with some of the best athletes in the world.

To my disappointment the whole weekend was a complete schooling in ill-preparation and insecurity. When I arrived at the venue on Saturday for the pre-race meeting I looked around and saw teams of people all wearing their country’s colors and supporting their athletes. I, on the other hand, was the only one there by myself with no support from USA Triathlon and I knew none of the other athletes or coaches. At the meeting I saw past and future Olympians and I could not help but think that I was well out of my league.

Long story short, the race went terribly. I exited the water dead last. Yes, dead last, by a lot. I managed to catch a couple guys on the bike and outrun them, saving myself the embarrassment of finishing last in the race. But man, was I close. The race was over in less than an hour and I was sent home to gather my things and catch a flight back to California. For the rest of the day I remember being in a state of shock. I knew I was out of my league racing those guys but I did not expect it to go as terribly as it did. I had worked for 10 years to get to this point and my dreams had been crushed before I exited the water.

The whole next week I questioned my entire adult life. I spent the last decade prioritizing training over many things with the hopes of achieving success as a professional triathlete. I couldn’t help but think about all the thousands of hours I wasted and what I could have done with that time. These thoughts would not stop filling up my head for weeks, and it took me months to come to grips with them. Then COVID hit and I finally had time to think.

I was about to start my second season as a professional triathlete in 2020 after a few other sub-bar performances the previous year. My last race of the 2019 season was decent but I was still miles behind the leaders and in the back of my head I knew I was still out of my league and should not be racing in the professional field. The first race of 2020 would be a half ironman in Oceanside and the field was stacked with big name professionals. I was nervous, and not in a good way. Rather than building excitement for the event I was constantly second guessing my training and getting more and more worried I would finish the race poorly. This is obviously no way to go about training for a sport I should love, but in the moment the pressure I put on myself was so great that I couldn’t separate myself from it.

When COVID hit in March and the race got canceled my reaction was not of disappointment, but rather complete relief. Now that the pressure I had put on myself was released I could see that I was forcing myself down this road for the wrong reasons, and I was setting myself up for failure by expecting way more than I was capable of. When we started realizing that races would be canceled for an extended period of time in 2020 I made the decision to quit racing triathlons altogether. When I finally made this decision I felt an immense sense of happiness and relief. All of a sudden the fog in my brain had lifted, and it took the pandemic to give me this perspective.

To my surprise the first thing I started thinking about when I decided to quit racing was my training. I used to train for accolades in races and to beat the competition, but now with no races on the calendar I still obsessed over my physical improvement. Over the next several months I gave myself challenges to train for in both cycling and running. I woke up every day with a goal to improve upon my current abilities and was working just as hard as when I wanted to be a successful pro athlete. However, my reasons now were different. I had a complete mentality shift from training in order to achieve external validation to training simply for the sake of getting better at what I do and take pride in. It was one of the greatest epiphanies I have had in my entire life and I still think about it almost every day. Now three years later I am still competing in races and personal challenges of various sorts. But more importantly I am a much happier person because I go about my work with an improvement mindset rather than seeking constant external validation.

(I rode 258 miles around the Bay for literally no reason but for "fun")

So how does this story relate to you? The fitness industry and mainstream media constantly emphasize the outcomes that people want. “Do you want to lose 10 pounds in two weeks?” “Do you want to run a marathon in 3 months?” “Do you want to simply and easily make more money?” Outcomes sell because people get excited about them. Everyone has insecurities and things they want to improve upon and it’s appealing to think you can achieve a goal with minimal effort. However, the reality is that to achieve anything worth pursuing, it’s never easy. And realistically, the outcome should be the least of our worries.

I’ve talked about goal setting like a broken record and most of you know how to set S.M.A.R.T goals (remember this?). However, what happens when you fail to achieve these goals? Better yet, what if I told you there was a 95% chance you will fail? I see 4 options:

1) You can give up before you even start. Why even try?

2) You can continue to go through the motions. Keep doing what you are doing now and tell yourself you will reach your goal one day even if you know you won’t ever achieve success. (Most common)

3) You can reassess your goals and try to choose something more realistic for the time being and slowly increase expectations over time. (SMART goal setting)

4) You can transcend the goal setting process altogether. You can set lofty goals for yourself and also know you need more realistic ones to fall back on. However, while going through this process you realize that the outcome really doesn’t matter. It’s about being proud of the life you are living day in and day out, and you wake up every morning with the drive to improve upon some aspect of your life. You are an active participant in your life rather than someone going through the motions. Whether or not you ever get to this imaginary nirvana where all your goals have been achieved and you can live happily ever after does not matter. Because you know this imaginary place where you can just lay back and stop working does not exist.

I personally like number 4. I like number 4 because goal setting is a process I believe every person should be engaged in every day of their lives. Because if you don’t have some sort of goal to move towards then what is motivating you to do anything in your life? Whether it’s health and fitness, relationships, finances, or any other area, if you are not moving forward you are likely moving backward. The daily pursuit of personal improvement in itself is the reward. Rather than focusing on the outcome of your goals, focus on becoming the person you want to be. If your goal is to run a marathon, what would a person who runs a marathon do with their day TODAY? Would they stay in bed well past their alarm and skip their workout? No, they would get up early and get the miles in before work. So if you want to run a marathon you need to do this too! Choose what person you want to be, implement their habits into your daily life, and eventually you will become that person. Be proud of the daily grind that you are engaging in and focus on daily personal development rather than wishing you were at the finish line already.

Even though I know it is unlikely I will ever compete as a professional athlete again, I still train on a daily basis as if I will. Because I am proud of the daily work that I put in regardless of where it takes me. I know if I have that north star guiding me through my training and personal life, even if I never get to it I will still benefit from conducting myself as if I will. If you feel lost or stagnant in your life I want you to pick your “north star” goal and start working towards it. Even if you don’t ever achieve it you will learn a lot from the process. And I guarantee you will achieve more than if you never tried in the first place.

In strength,

Mark Kolding, M.S.
Personal Trainer/Triathlon Coach
ACSM CPT
510-734-2817

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